I Can't Check Any of These

Today I went to register Josiah for 4 year old Pre-K next year.  Unfortunately we did not get into our first choice (remember my letter to March when I said we received a letter he didn't get in and then a call that said he did and I cried happy tears and then another call that said just kidding, that was a mistake? Yeah.) Since then we have been trying to decide what the best second option was and we finally made a decision. So he will be attending public school pre-k, which is five days a week.  Which means it will be me and a baby during the day come August.  In case you don't understand the significance of this...I've never had just one kid at home with me!

The process of getting him registered included me bringing in 5 or 6 important documents and then sitting at a table for LITERALLY AN HOUR and filling out paperwork.  Actually 24 documents.  I had to fill out t-w-e-n-t-y-f-o-u-r pieces of paper.  That is a lot of times writing my name and his name and our address and everything he eats and his developmental skills and my husband's work number, etc.

One of the first pieces was just a general info sheet.  Part of that was listing everyone that lived in our home. (FYI: when you have five children, there are never enough spots on the "children/siblings" portion.) I had to list how each of the children in our home were related to us.  There were three choices (and I quote): N=Natural, F=Foster, R=Relative.

This is all fine and good.  I understand why a school system would want to know how each of the children living in a home are related to the adults living there.  In a city as large as this and in 2014, families are created a million different ways.  Homes are blended and mixed and people come to live together for a variety of reasons.  The school should know these things.  But, my friends, we don't fit any of these boxes.

Let's address this two part problem.
1. "Natural" - I'm sorry, do you mean "biological?" Because that is the accurate term.  All my children are "natural," meaning they are HUMAN. Birthed from a HUMAN. Not created in any "unnatural" way.  But you want to know if they are birthed from me? Then yes, "biological" is what you are looking for.

2. Where is "Adoptive" as an option???? - This one I just don't understand. It's a glaring, big fat hole. When I called the lady over to ask this OBVIOUS question, she said, "Oh, Natural is birthed. So you would put Foster."

Whoa, nelly. Slow that train right down.

"No. He's not my foster son.  He is my legal son.  I am his legal mother. Here is MY NAME on his birth certificate. There should be an A=Adoptive option. Can I write that in?"

"No, for the sake of this form you would put Foster," said the representative. "I understand your offense to that term because I have a heart for adoption. But here, since you did not birth him, you would write Foster."

I asked if I could write in Adoptive.  She said not for this form.  But it's no big deal, she said.

BUT IT'S NOT TRUE. For the sake of accuracy, "natural" is a better fit and more true than "foster." He is not and has not ever been under the care of the state.  They do not have authority over him. His legal and true parents do. Which would be Stuart and myself.

So...because I am a rule follower and rarely challenge authority (yeah, yeah) I wrote F and then wrote ADOPTIVE in the box. But now, several hours later, I feel like I need to address this further.  I need to contact the office and let them know it's time for changes. The form needs to be updated. Most likely, many people don't have any issue with the form.  But as an adoptive mother, I seriously do.  I do not want his information recorded in a computer system with "Foster." He has never been part of the foster system. Ever. He has a legal and forever family. Document that.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes down as I address the largest school district in the state and try to get them to change their paperwork.......ack!