It was 7:15 am. I had been up for about an hour - the baby woke up early, so I fed him and he was already back asleep. No one else was up yet so I made myself a yummy pumpkin chai (I do not even care if it is June - I love pumpkin year round) and sat at the kitchen table with my bible to do my quiet time. Rare. So very rare. My quiet time when it is actually quiet. First thing in the morning.
Starting a proverb a day today - so Proverbs 1 it is. 7:18 am. I hear the first footsteps. The oldest is up. She sees me at the table and instead of playing upstairs like she would if I wasn't up yet, she asks if she can come down. I tell her only if she is quiet and she joins me with some coloring at the table.
Then, every few minutes, another set of footsteps pitter patter down the upstairs hall and join. Soon my "quiet" time has gained 4 additional bodies who are anything but quiet, even at 7:24 in the morning. But dang it, I have my chai, I'm in a chair, I'm doing it, even if I have to plug my ears. I can't make it through all of Proverbs 1 because I'm especially hung up on a few verses I want to sit in my heart today. For some reason, I feel like I'm gonna need all the wisdom I can get.
Proverbs 1: 7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Well. The Lord knows I desire knowledge - because basically every day I'm all like I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING IN THIS CRAZY LIFE and be actin' a fool more often than I will admit to you, kind reader.
I continue.
Proverbs 1:10 "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent."
The sinners that came to mind here were not the four little people that had interrupted my precious time. (Though sinners, they are. Bless their little hearts.) Instead, God brought to mind the things the enemy uses, my weak spots, to entice me. My "sinners" that often entice me are jealousy, self-deprecation, selfishness, laziness, pride. These result in impatience, anger, judgment of others, isolation, fear, lack of prayer, lack of faith, and sadness. I feel like I have learned A LOT about myself over these last 18 months. But as a wise teacher once shared with me, "Introspection is not change." Just because I know these areas of weaknesses about myself doesn't actually change anything by itself. Only by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit and continual communion with God will change occur. I confess that so often I know my own triggers, I know what gets me, I know what makes me feel crappy and then when I'm already in the pit I'm like, "Yep. Seems just like me."
Enter: I want to watch out for the net.
Proverbs 1: 17 "For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird."
I didn't get this at first. But after reading some commentary and the revelation God laid on my own heart, it clicked. I WANT TO SEE THE NET BEFORE IT TRAPS ME. Because if I see the net, call it a net, then like any wise ol' bird I will avoid it. The enemy is setting that net in vain because why I would I willingly trap myself? If I have knowledge of the things that separate me from my Lord (the "sinners that entice" me) then I can head the other direction - into the arms of my Jesus who saves me. To the One who has provided victory over the very things that desire to swallow me whole.
So I challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to think about what are the things that entice you most, distract you from the fullness of life Jesus promises and provides for you? I've shared some of mine with you here. Examine your own heart and pray that God would give you eyes to see the nets the enemy may try to trap you in. Then pray for wisdom to see those nets, so that they might be set in vain, so that you can head the other way.
Right after I finished my reading time, and these verses were fresh on my heart, I had a chance to practice net spotting. My selfishness and laziness nets were waiting for me, like bait on a hook, and praise the Lord He helped me spot them before I pulled a Jenny and stepped right in. His Word was living and active in my life at that moment. I wish it was a one-time fix and now this problem is solved, but you all know as well as I do this is a on-going process. Sanctification, becoming more like Jesus, never will end this side of glory.
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