I Saw a Sign

Many thanks to Ace of Base for the inspiration to my post title.

The story of Gideon is found in Judges 6-8 in the Old Testament. I am currently walking through a study on Gideon by Priscilla Shirer and it is blessing me. I started it about 8 weeks ago and am currently in week 5. Such is the life with a newborn in the house. It may take me a few days to get through one day of study but I am pushing through. There is grace in all seasons.

I have learned a lot about myself since moving to our new city to know my triggers that propel me towards the pit and the factors that propel me towards the cross. God's Word is my lifeline.

A quick summary on Gideon is that he was an insecure man that God used to show Himself victorious. I can relate to Gideon in that I am extremely aware of my weaknesses and not always quite so aware how God is powerful through them (2 Cor. 12:9) and insecure, like Gideon, to boot.

Hang in there with me; the context is important for my story I want to share with you.

When God told Gideon that he would defeat the powerful army of Midian, Gideon was a little skeptical. He asked for a sign (even though he heard God's voice) three times. And then God offered him an additional sign after that (with a witness!) because The Lord knows His children. He was well aware of Gideon's insecurity.



Judges 6:16-18
And the Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.” 17 And he said to him, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, then show me a sign that it is you who speak with me. 18 Please do not depart from here until I come to you and bring out my present and set it before you.” And he said, “I will stay till you return.”

Judges 6:36-40
36 Then Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said, 37 behold, I am laying a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece alone, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said.” 38 And it was so. When he rose early next morning and squeezed the fleece, he wrung enough dew from the fleece to fill a bowl with water. 39 Then Gideon said to God, “Let not your anger burn against me; let me speak just once more. Please let me test just once more with the fleece. Please let it be dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground let there be dew.” 40 And God did so that night; and it was dry on the fleece only, and on all the ground there was dew.

We moved here in the fall of 2012 to plant a new church. Moving only mere weeks after stepping off an airplane with two new children was, how do I put this, DAGGUM HARD. God used it as a blessing (I see it now....it took a whole to call it a blessing) because all we had was each other. I do believe that's why our kids are as close as they are, because day in and day out we figured out our new normal together. Everything was different. So we spent months just trying to learn how to be a family. Ministry was limited to getting to know our neighbors while playing outside and walking to the park. I struggled there, not feeling like we were doing enough. I am performance based, a recovering legalist if you will, and I wanted to be able to see tangible evidence of our ministry.

2013 was filled with outreach events, neighborhood parties, deepening relationships, lots of time outside, having people over, our first mission team, and launching a bi-weekly bible study. It was exciting, but the tangible evidence was still missing. Growth was, and still is, slow. Authentic relationships take time. I have continually felt peace about the Lord's calling to move here, but I didn't (still don't) understand why we weren't able to form a core team. Stuart has a day job that is a huge blessing, but honestly is inconvenient to ministry. He is gone for 10 hours a day and he also has a family. There is no time for meeting people and all church planning happens after the kids go to bed.

These last few months I have been very discouraged. It is just so HARD. I don't mean to sound like a baby, but it's been 18 months and I don't feel like we have gotten anywhere. I know we have, but I just wanted to see something. I guess that's where faith comes in. I feel like we have been obedient each step of the way, and that needs to be enough. But, like Gideon, I am weak and insecure and was in need of a sign.

Last week, I "pulled a Gideon" and prayed for a sign that we were supposed to be here. I was longing for the comfort of our former life...where the job was secure and close by and we knew a bunch of people and things were comfortable. Do you know that feeling? Where you know God is calling you to something bigger than yourself and good gracious it's a bit uncomfortable? And you long for things that are just a little easier and don't stretch you as much and require less of you?

Then. Boom. God shows up. He is long-suffering and patient and knows His children- the same God Gideon prayed to.

The next day after I began praying for a sign, Spencer was standing in my bathroom with me as I got ready. He said, "Mom, you know in that song where they talk about going all over the world to tell people about Jesus?" (Just a song on an album we like to listen to the in the car).

"Yeah, I know that song."

"Well, when are we going to do that in our city?" Let me add that this type of conversation has never been initiated by the kids. Yes, we have told them why we moved here, why we tell people God loves them and who Jesus is, but it's always starting with us. They have not grabbed hold of this yet.

My answer to him was, "Well, we are baby. We do that with our lives and our words all the time. We love on them and act like Jesus and we tell them His story." He said, "Well, I never hear you." Insert dagger in my chest. I explained that he just isn't around when I am having that type of conversation with another grown up. But man, it was an eye opener that we are to be in our city and my children need to see me step it up a bit. This is our home now. There is work to be done.

God wasn't through yet.

Two days later, spring was *finally* in the air and the kids asked if they could gather flowers. Read: pick dandelions from the neighbors yard. And because our neighbor wasn't home, ahem, I said yes. After they had a cup full of dandelions they asked if they could go around and deliver flowers to the neighbors and hand out bibles to them. I mean seriously. They have not ever talked about this. And now they want to go door-to-door and evangelize? We were about to walk out the door for lunch, so they spent the next few minutes "practicing." One kid would stand on the porch and ring the bell, and the others would answer the door. The bell ringer would hand over a book and a flower and share the good news that God loves them. Then they would take turns and someone else would be outside. (Update: later that day we made cookies and Stuart and the kids spent the next two nights walking the neighborhood and delivering cookies, talking about what it means to be a good neighbor. We know the context of our neighborhood well enough to know that the bible-passing-out needed to be saved for another time.)

These two instances really challenged me. My kids are so eager to share their Jesus that loves and saves them with the people all around us. There is work to be done here - they see it and God was showing me why He has us here.

But He wasn't through yet.

The next day Stuart came home from work with some crazy news. All of a sudden his boss had made changes so that beginning next week they would be working from home majority of the time. A job with very little flexibility was all of a sudden gaining incredible flexibility. This is exciting on so many levels. It's more than Stuart being at home more and being with the kids more. It's more than saving money on gas and lunch. It's even more than eliminating that 45 minutes (each way) commute in big city traffic. It was about being in the very spot where ministry happens. It was about being able to meet up with people on their schedule. It was about being visible more than he has ever been able to, working with mission teams, speaking on vision tours, taking the kids to the park to meet people while they play, setting up meetings with apartment complex managers...it is so, so big. Yes, he still has work to do but this frees him up in ways we couldn't even dream of, in ways I didn't even pray for. To say I am thankful is a huge understatement. And it still hasn't sunk in yet.

So, I thanked God for His signs. I need to be obedient and faithful without them, but in His grace He allowed me encouragement to keep walking forward. If you are so inclined, would you pray for a core team for the church plant to rise up? We have some awesome opportunities planned and several short term teams coming in the remainder of 2014 but we need workers on the ground with us here all the time. But what is it that Jesus impressed upon my heart so very strongly all during the adoption? "He who calls you is faithful."

Let me encourage you, friend. If you are truly desiring to walk according to the will of the Father, He sees you. If you are struggling acknowledge that to Him and ask Him for a sweet bit of encouragement. He longs for your life to be filled with true, abundant joy that only walking intimately with Him can provide.
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