A Break

So for the last two weeks or so, I have been taking a little hiatus from social media. I haven't been on Facebook or Instagram at all, except to respond to messages I had received every now and then. I decided to take a little break because I had felt it had become almost obsessive in my life...is this picture perfect, how many likes or comments do I have, what's going on in so-and-so's world...and then, inevitably for me, why does she always look perfect? How come she can go there with her kids and I am a total circus each and every day? I can't post a pic of myself because I look lazy/fat/ugly...you get it. 

So I took a break from it all. 

I realized it had become like an addiction when the first couple of days it was really hard to just sit still. At stoplights, when the kids were in bed, when I was feeding a baby, during commercial breaks. So I decided to talk to my baby instead. Sing louder to the radio. Have a book nearby. 

But I wanted to know what was going on in people's worlds. I felt like I was missing out. Disconnected. But truthfully, here lately that disconnected feeling had been happening a lot anyway, and I actually think social media was making it worse. 

One of my favorite people had a baby. Because of our lives and distance, we hadn't really kept in touch a ton. But she texted and let me know she was being induced to welcome her son into the world. I was so thankful because I wouldn't had known otherwise, because of my little hiatus. But she thought of me and that made me feel more loved than any comment on fb would have. And because of that, she came to my mind more, and I remembered to check in on her a few times. We chatted more (via text, mind you, as that is a mom's life it seems) over the last two weeks than we have in who knows how long. I am so thankful for that. 

I browsed the news feed last night just because. I hadn't given myself a specific amount of time to stay off so I didn't feel like it was a problem. But it made me think. By seeing these edited little glimpses into others' lives, do we trick ourselves in thinking that is real connection? Undoubtedly so, social media can be used to positively interact with others we may not otherwise. But do we sometimes use it as a replacement, as a cop out, thinking because we know someone's kids' names and ages, where they vacation, their due date, their birthday...that we don't have to put forth real effort in lives? We are called to live in community, the good, the bad, the ugly with the people God puts in our paths. And that is hard. It's hard to let people in to see our mess. To see our less than, unedited moments. 

I am challenged to do more of that. Life is unedited. Chaos is reality. But there is beauty there, if only we slow down and look.