Language Lesson

Well...did you think I disappeared forever?  Probably not.

School is back in full swing around these parts.  I have entered into a new life season: the one with one baby at home.  I have never had this before.  I mean, back when I first became a parent, I still had two babies at one time.  Then we added two more.  Then Baby Ben made his arrival and I had 4 kids at home with me full time - only one in school.  But now - my twins are in kindergarten, I have a second grader, and my four year old is in full-time pre-k.  So it's just me and my little buddy.  How about this one kid thing. I mean - I basically just throw him in the car and we can do just about anything.  And I mean as long as it's before 9 am and between 11-12:30 pm because otherwise he's napping.  And life *kinda* has to revolve around a baby's nap schedule.  At least if you are a control freak like me and like order in your life.

ANYWAY.

So this week has been interesting.  Let's chat about that four year old for a second.  If you don't know him, I do not really know how to describe him.  He is his own breed.  He pretty much lives with one foot in our world and one foot in a world where he wears his clothes backwards (even jeans), falls down a lot, says things that don't really make sense, asks questions over and over.  It's a fun world he likes living in. I mean, language is still coming for him, even though he's been home for 2 years. So IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I pick him up from school and as he walks to the car with his teacher he gives me a thumbs down.  Okay....and his teacher says, "So, he cursed in class today."

What? (For the record - just FYI - we don't curse in our house. Like ever. Even on accident. And there are no shows or music on with cursing.  No one we spend time with curses.)  "What did he say?" I asked her.

"He actually said m----- f-----."

"OH NO HE DIDN'T."

Yes, yes he did.

In all my fine parenting glory (because I ain't about to be THAT MOM who sent her kid to school teaching other kids M-F) I immediately say, "He has never heard that at our house. Ever. He had to have heard that here at school.  He wouldn't even know what that means."

She said she asked him if he heard that from Mommy (CAN YOU IMAGINE) and he said no.  Thank goodness.  I mean honestly, sometimes you don't know what he's going to say.  I didn't know if I was going to laugh or cry.  So I did both. It made me sad but I know he had no idea.

I assured her we would handle it and informed him he could not speak on the way home. It was now time to figure out how to discipline something that he has no idea what he said.  I am serious, y'all.  I'm not naive.  The boy doesn't know the difference between a bagel and a donut and a cookie.  He doesn't know what he said.  He parroted what someone else said.

So then we handle it and later Stuart and I look at each other and he says, "Are you sure he even knows what word he is in trouble for?" So then...I go in his room (where he has been sitting on his bed awaiting further instruction because he's well aware this is serious) and I asked him where he heard the word.  He described as best he could a girl at school.  Then I said, "Do you even know what word you are in trouble for?" He didn't.  So guess what.  I had to say it.  It took me three tries to even get it out.

But I was so sad.  Sad that language like that is coming from children's mouths at his school.  Sad that a grown up in some kid's life is using language like that and their kid is using it and saying it in her PRESCHOOL class.  And my son, who is delightfully unaware most of his days, now has been exposed already to that type of language.  Of all the words.  Seriously.

Adults, kids are sponges.  Not just for bad language.  But all the things we do and say.  What do we want to teach them? How to criticize themselves and laugh at others? How to huff and puff and be annoyed when we don't get our way? How to play on our phone instead of interacting in real life? To use words that lift others up or words that tear others down? Because they are listening. And watching. When we talk with our friends outside, when we chat on the phone, when we play our music in the car...all of it.